| Must teenagers need plastic surgery? -plastic surgery should be banned for teenagers Recently, many of teenagers have dreams of flipping their whole life by changing their outlooks . students think that better looking helps them to be able to enter better university or get a better career in the future. Also, According to recent Seoul research, 54% of female and 42.5% of male students think that plastic surgery is the best way to improve their beauty. But many of the people including surgeons recommend teenagers should not do plastic surgery because of the physical, psychological and economical reasons first, It is because teenagers' bodies are still keep growing and changing. Bones keep growing until 18-21 in average and mostly it is growing until older ages. However, if teenagers do plastic surgery, they cut their skin or bones. So, because they're still keep growing, on the other hands, their bones are fixed by surgery, It can destroy body and face's shape. And even sometimes it can cause infection and even bring them on serious danger. Another common reason is because of teenagers' mind. First, that their identity is not yet fixed. Teenagers are greatly influenced by media. So their surgery has trend. For example, When drama "high-kick" was popular among teenagers, the plastic surgery to look like the main character increased. And after few months, It decreased a lot and they want to have surgeries again to be like those popular beautiful singers and actresses. What students did was just regret their past choice or do the surgery again. Lastly, minors' plastic surgery is not recommended because of financial burden. Plastic surgery costs a lot and it can over hanging the economy of their family. it already costs a lot for students' education and necessities of their lives. In fact, doing the surgery is not the necessity and must-do-thing, it just bothers the parents and family because of their greed. | 
There's nothing to correct or add about the organization !
ReplyDeleteBut I think you should specify the first sentence of your second reason. 'Another common reason is because of teenagers' mind.'. For me It wasn't enough to understand what you are trying to say, so at least changing it into 'teenagers immature mind' or 'constantly changing mind' would be helpful, in my opinion.
YejiOh / Final draft / Wednesday
ReplyDeleteMust teenagers need plastic surgery?
-plastic surgery should be banned for teenagers
Recently, many of teenagers have dreams of flipping their whole lives by changing their appearances. students think that better looking helps them to be able to enter better university or even get a better career in the future. Also, According to Seoul research in 2012, 54% of female and 42.5% of male students think that plastic surgery is the best way to improve their beauty. But many people including surgeons recommend teenagers should not do plastic surgery because of the physical, psychological and economic reasons.
first, It is because teenagers’ bodies are still keep growing and changing. Bones keep growing until 18-21 in average and mostly it is growing until older ages. However, if teenagers do plastic surgery, they cut their skin or bones. So, because they’re still keep growing, on the other hands, their bones are fixed by surgery, It can destroy body and face’s shape. And even sometimes it can cause infection and even bring them on serious danger.
Another common reason is because of teenagers’ immature mind. First, that their identity is not yet fixed. Frankly speaking, Teenagers are greatly influenced by media and it means that the surgery is like fashion and has its own trend. For example, When drama “high-kick” was popular among teenagers, the plastic surgery to look like the main character increased. And after few months after it finished, it decreased a lot and they want to have surgeries again to be like those popular beautiful singers and actresses. What students did was just regret their past choice or did the surgery again to follow their new role models.
Lastly, minors’ plastic surgery is not recommended because of financial burden. Plastic surgery costs a lot and it can over hanging the economy of their family. it already costs a lot for students’ education and necessities of their lives. but if they do plastic surgery, it costs higher than they could pay and In fact, doing the surgery is not the necessity and must-do-thing but just like luxuries, it just bothers the parents and family because of their greed.
In conclusion, teenagers’ plastic surgery should be banned, because their body, mind, and economic capacity is not yet prepared for their own big choice. Instead, they have to find out solutions for satisfying and love themselves. Audrey Hepburn had said that “the beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.” It is what teenagers should remind. They have to find their inner beauty which is the most important and satisfy and love themselves.