2016/03/22

Chae Won Kim/second draft/Wed. 34

Topic : Learning How to Write

Topic Sentence : University students have to learn how to write for several reasons.

Supporting Points

  1. To see subjects objectively

  2. To develop think power

  3. To deliver opinions effectively

University students have to learn how to write academically for several reasons.

Firstly, writing helps to see subjects objectively. Unlike verbal messages, writing needs more analysis and researches for accuracy and appropriateness. In doing these, people can find pros and cons of the subject and get less distortion.

Next, thinking power can be developed by practicing writing. Through several rounds of elaboration, people have to change their page into more natural version. So, dozens of contemplation and reflection make people to think widely.

Lastly, students can learn to share their opinions effectively. Sometimes, calmness can be very effective to convince others more than toning up debate. A well-refined text could be very powerful than any others to touch someone's mind.

To sum up, knowing how to write is essential for university students. Because it gives them objective standpoint, helps to improve their thinking power and adds a way to exchange their ideas.

 

2016/03/21

Choi Jaeyoon / page 20 draft /Wednesday 34

Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others. First, they can get a chance to understand themselves. When people see others' trouble, they feel responsibility for helping them through volunteering. Starting volunteering, they feel better about themselves and worthwhile to be needed by someone else. Also, they can find their own interests or skills. By that, not only helping others, they even find and learn about themselves more. Another reason is to make a better community to live in. They want to make a difference in the community they live in. Helping others could be helpful in various ways like financial or social relations in the community. Furthermore, they believe that they can also make a better world that mankind live in by volunteering. So they work hard to come true their hope by volunteer work. Lastly, meeting new people is also a common reason for volunteering. Volunteering at specific place extends the range of people they meet. They have one and the same goal "helping others" and it gives them a sense of belonging. In addition, they may get to know something new or information by getting along with each other. They learn importance of cooperation and teamwork as well. To sum up, people do volunteer work to understand their own mind, make a better place, and to meet new people.

Re: Choi Jaeyoon/First draft/Wednesday 34

Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others. First, they can get a chance to understand themselves. When people see others' trouble, they feel responsibility for helping them through volunteering. Starting volunteering, they feel better about themselves and worthwhile to be needed by someone else. Also, they can find their own interests or skills. By that, not only helping others, they even find and learn about themselves more. Another reason is to make a better community to live in. They want to make a difference in the community they live in. Helping others could be helpful in various ways like financial or social relations in the community. Furthermore, they believe that they can also make a better world that mankind live in by volunteering. So they work hard to come true their hope by volunteer work. Lastly, meeting new people is also a common reason for volunteering. Volunteering at specific place extends the range of people they meet. They have one and the same goal "helping others" and it gives them a sense of belonging. In addition, they may get to know something new or information by getting along with each other. They learn importance of cooperation and teamwork as well. To sum up, people do volunteer work to understand their own mind, make a better place, and to meet new people.


2016-03-13 23:47 GMT+09:00 최. <hiddlestoner0903@gmail.com>:

OUTLINE:

 

Topic: Reasons for volunteering

 

Topic sentence: Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.

 

Supporting points:

1.     To get a chance to understand their own ego

2.     To make a better community to live in

3.     To meet new people

 

First draft:

 

Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.

 

First, they can get a chance to understand their own ego. When people see others' trouble, they feel responsibility for helping them through volunteering. Starting volunteering, they feel better about themselves and worthwhile to be needed by someone. Also, they can find their own interests or skills.

 

Another reason is to make a better community to live in. They want to make a difference in the community they live in. Furthermore, they believe that they can also make a better world mankind live in by volunteering.

 

Lastly, meeting new people is also a common reason for volunteering. They have one and the same goal "helping others" and it gives them a sense of belonging. In addition, they may get to know something new or information by getting along with each other. They learn importance of cooperation and teamwork as well.

 

To sum up, people do volunteer work to understand their own mind, make a better place, and to meet new people.


2016/03/20

Minyoung Jang/Page 20 Draft/Wed 3,4

Today, Almost 70% of students go to the university. Although the reasons for going to university are diverse from person to person, everyone who decide to attend wants and expects to get "something" from university. I think there are a couple of things that students need to get from university necessarily.

 

First, of course, students need to get academic knowledge about their major. That is what university intents and the purpose of the first. Students should study major and cultural subjects what they choose and want to learn. Another thing to need to get from university is good people. People often say "If you have one person who can talk without hesitation from university, your campus life is successful.". That means how hard to get "good" people. So students need to try to socialize with people and get your people. Finally, students need to get various experience in university. I think that joining the variety club, student organization is helpful to experience university life. And working part-time job and trip is also very meaningful experience.

 

To sum up, I think students need to get academic knowledge, good people, and various experience from university.

 

Yunsang Eom/p.20 draft/wed 3,4

In modern digital age, many people enjoy SNS, such as facebook, instagram and twiiter. SNS become flow leading these days. Why do people enjoy SNS? There are variety of reasons.

 

First, many people enjoy SNS for communicate with other people. This communicate has various aspects. Most people communicate friends and others because of wondering each other's life. But some people communicate others for excessive self splurge and criticism of specific people sometimes

 

Next, many people enjoy SNS for utilizing variety content. For example, facebook has a variety video, such as exciting highlight of sport and drama. also facebook has helpful informations , such as life tips and sport tips. As such these, SNS has variety content having extensive information but these information not always accurate information. so we should always distinguish weather right information

 

Finally, people enjoy SNS for earning money. In SNS world, companies invest to SNS member having many follower for advertising. These SNS member are called 'SNS star' Have you heard word SNS star?. They really make money by using SNS. Sometimes these things are often a nuisance to society because so-called sns star not hesitate their destructive behavior For example recently famous SNS star posts video that he hit other SNS member who criticize him. reason of this are seen for public interest making money

 

As indicated above, There are many reason for enjoying sns And many reason have twofoldness

EunYoung Kim / Page 20 Draft / Wednesday 3 4

The Importance of Traveling

 

Traveling is an important part of our lives in various ways. First, it allows you to broaden your perspective in life. You get to meet people all over the world and experience their individual cultures in person. Understanding each and every culture can help break stereotypes you may have had before visiting the country. This eventually leads to opening up your view in general, helping you to become a more generous person. Also, becoming friends with various types of people while traveling is matter-of-fact. Whether it be in exotic restaurants or even places you stay in, you have tons of ways to meet new people and communicate with them. Even after you return home you can still stay in contact with your worldwide friends by becoming pen pals. Lastly, traveling can be therapeutic. A lot of people tend to visit other places just to relieve stress and simply relax. This makes you happier in life and very often enhances your self-confidence. To wrap up, traveling benefits you in that it helps broaden your perspective, allows you to meet worldwide friends, and is therapeutic.

Eunsol Lee/Page 20 draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

Topic: Exclusive benefits of studying abroad

 

 Students going abroad to study can gain variety of benefits effectively and exclusively, which are not easy to be obtained just being in Korea.

First, as many linguistic knowledge states, "Language" is a subject interconnected with culture. We can learn and acquire one language fully by understanding and experiencing its culture. And studying language with culture also means we can learn it with pleasure and interest. Definitely, this language learning method is something splendid and absolutely meaningful. So if we can take language and culture together by studying abroad, it would be an effective way to acquire a skill of one language. Another benefit is surroundings. Going abroad means everything around you changes. Things like people, conditions, necessities and so much more we would live with. And it also means we cannot help being familiar with and practiced in that language. Particularly, an adolescent period, teenage is a time when they are very sensitive to friends and is when they could be flexible with any surroundings boundlessly. With fixed and unavoidable conditions, students would use and study required language actively and naturally at the same time. Lastly, thanks to being with native speakers, we can tell some slight differences between each expressions, words and phrases. And this grows into knowing the nuance of that language, then nuance becomes the main source of fluency. Clearly, the fluency could be acquired easier than studying in Korea, because students use that language not just in class but whole time when they're awaken.

 To wrap up, there are 3 remarkable benefits studying abroad: studying language with its culture, fixed and unavoidable conditions making us use specific language, learning native nuance and fluency.

Shin Sungjoo/ Firsr Draft/ Wed. 3 4

Shin Sungjoo/ Firsr Draft/ Wed. 3 4


Some of students choose to live in dormitory when they start university. In fact, living in a dormitory benefits students from several ways. First of all, they can make many friends. Generally, dormitory could contain thousands people and it is esay to find someone who had similar hobbies. In addition, dormitory usually has lounge that provides sofas, TV and cooking area. It is a good place to meet new people and making friends while they having conversations. Another advantage for living a dormitory is that students can learn social skills. Normally, each student has one or two roommates in one dormitory room. They have to learn how to share everything with other people. It is the first step to adapt social life. Moreover, student should learn skills about how to take care of relationship with many friends. At last, students live in dormitory can save money. Some of students choose to rent a house. However, it needs cash deposit which is quite big money for student. For those dormitory liver does not need to pay cash deposit. Additionally, dormitory almost located close to the campus. Thus, students can save public transportation fees. To summarize, living in a dormitory not only can make many friends, but also can learn social skills. Meanwhile, they can save money as well.



Seung Ji Lee/Page 20 Draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

Title: Causes of stress among university students

 

    A number of today's university students are being stressed and the reasons why they get stress vary.

    First of all, university students cannot help caring about their grades all the time. They are obsessed with the idea that they should always focus on them due to a lot of assignments, group work and regular tests. Since students are aware that good grades lead to a better job, they suffer from stress for their grades.

    Next, the students get in financial difficulties. Generally, university tuition is so high that it is a big burden for them. Also, they are in a situation where they should feed and house all by themselves but have no job. So some students work part-time for their spending, but it is stressful to them because it is not easy to hold down a part-time job and focus on studying at the same time.

    Finally, uncertainty of future makes college students feel stressed. Becoming a college student means they are free to make decisions but have responsibility on that. In other words, they have to make all the plans ranging from what student organization they would join to what would they do for a job after graduation. The students have no idea whether they would succeed as they planned, so they feel worried about their future.

    In conclusion, there are three reasons why university students are stressed: they should care about their grades all the time, suffer from financial hardship, and worry about uncertain future. 

OhYeji/Page 2 Draft/endnesday 11:00~12:50

Causes of stress among university students

 

Oh yeji

 

Topic : Causes of stress among university students

Topic sentence : University students have a lot of stress, and there are reasons why they have stress

Supporting points :

Because of our invisible future

Because we are not sure about our major

Because of too high school fee

 

There are plenty of causes why university students get stress. First, stress is caused by our invisible future. When we were in the highschool, we always have our dream of a beautiful future, living as the person who is always called as a 'successful man'. But when we come to school. we know and feel that living life as an adult is not that easy. So students are afraid and worry about our future because it seems invisible.

 

Another common reason is because we are not sure about our major. When we go to the university, we choose our own major. And when before we enter the school we all have our own roman about their majors. But after entering the school and taking few classes, we get confused and have questions that whether our major is appropriate with us and our campus lives are not same as their imagination and our romans are broken. If their answer about our major is 'not appropriate with us', they have to find the measures of it and get stress, though their answer is 'appropriate', because not everything in major is about our imagination, we get stress again. And also, we get worries that whether we can do somethings such as earning money in the future with our major or not. This worries make students stress.

 

Finally, some students get stress by too high school fee. Unlike most of the highschools, universities' fee is very high-much higher than students expected. Universities school fee are mostly more than 3,000,000won and more than it. And because it is too expensive for be paid all of that by their parents, many of the students use loan and work hard to repay money. Also, they have to care about the interest and have to pay for it too.

 

To sum up, university students' stress is caused by a variety of reasons: because of our invisible future, because we are not sure about our major, because of high school fee.

Yeoroom Lee/page 20 draft/Wed 34

 Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not go to same

university because of factors we should consider about.

 

 First, we have to think about the score. Students who are planning to go to

university must be an adequate applicant that university looks for. 'Adequate'

means appropriate and proper academic achievement that could fit in the pass

line set by particular university. It can be concluded to score, and this is the most

clear and definite factor dividing whether this student have a right qualification for

pass.

 

 Also, university location is also important factor. The word 'location' stands for

geographical properties like environment, and transportation convinience.

Although we've developed transportation technology so far, it'd still be a hard

decision to go to university that locates almost the opposite site of earth from

home. Plus, different cultures such as food style, unfamiliar custom must

be crucial aspects just like site accesibility.

 

 

 Finally, the purpose. While 'score' is the clearest factor in choosing university,

the purpose is the most important factor when we make a apply decision. 

For example, even if  'A' university is not far away from B's home and every

aspects are positive to B, such as great score, familiar environment, but it'd

be an empty talk if B does not want to apply for that university. because we go

to university for a variety of reasons, going to university without purpose,

everything involved that would be meaningless.

 

 To sum up, there're three factors in choosing a university. pass qualification,

university location, and reasons. 

MunJinGon/Page 20 Draft/wednesday 11:00~12:50

Every university students may have worries about their campus life. It can cause student's stress and even make them take a leave of absence from university. Then, what makes student so anxious? There are various reasons for it.

First, assignments make student mentally tired. Students need to do personal or team assignments in each class. Especially, team assignments can make students exhuasted because team may have difficulty in separating the part. Since everyone want to do easier part of assignment, they could be into conflict. In addition, preparing a presentation and writing a long report is hard for some freshmen because it can be first time for them to do this.

Another reason for getting stressed is to meet new people. For shy people like me, it is big challenge to be friends with new people. In some cases, they can't adapt to campus life and may be the outsider. And some people who just want to study, not to attend campus activities often became a voluntary outsider.

Finally, spending a lot of money is such a burden for many students. University tuition is much more expensive than high school and textbook for lecture is not cheep for students. Students who lived distant place need to live apart from their own family or live in a dorm. In this case, they should pay a lot of money for dormitory fee or rent expense. In addition, university student need to spend money for fashion, school event, food, etc which they pay little attention in high school. So they are forced to do part-time job or tutor students to earn money.

To sum up, many university students are bothered by several reasons like doing assignments, making up new relationship with new people and pay lots of money for ecademic reason and then some. 

Dongwon Kang/Page 20 Draft/Wednesday 11:00 ~ 12:50

Title: Advantages of Social Networking Service(SNS)

 

 The main advantages of SNS can be divided into three categories. First of all, SNS helps us meet different kinds of people. As SNS had constructed a huge global network among people throughout the world, we can easily get chances to communicate with foreigners and maintain relationship with them.

Next, we can strengthen ties with our friends or families through SNS. For example, we can upload a video or image of our recent lives on the SNS to let people know more about us and we can also search for recent states of our friends or families to see how they are doing.

Another advantage of SNS is that we can easily share or gather information through various features of SNS. we can get the newest information from news, articles and advertisements that are uploaded in the SNS. Also, if we press a 'like' button on the page and make a bookmark on it, we can revisit the page next time and have the latest information again.

Last but not least, SNS can be an effective measure for marketing and advertising. SNS is by far one of the most economical and cost-effective ways of advertising products. As information in SNS spreads rapidly through social media platforms, we can expect to see the effect of advertising within a comparatively short period of time.

 

To summarize, there are mainly three ways to benefit from SNS: to make relationship with various kinds of people, to obtain useful information and to advertise products in cost-effective way. 

Yong-yoon Cho/Page 20 Draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

Many Students go to university, but some of them choose to go abroad for several reasons. First, students leave from their home country to see more of the world. Foreign universities enable students to communicate with foreigners. Spending time with new people who have diverse backgrounds helps students expand their horizons. Also, students decide to go abroad to study in better conditions. There are Some universities with a strong international reputation for excellent faculty, plentiful materials, or financial support. This kind of system would keep students concentrate on study and contribute to gaining social recognition. Finally, some students are eager to live on their own. Depart from their family, with no acquaintance, students would be able to devote their time to study. In addition, living alone away from their family must be difficult, but they can learn to be self sufficient. To summarize, students choose to go abroad to widen their horizons, study in better conditions, or to live on their own. 

Hwang Sue Min/Page 20 Draft/Wed 3,4

The practicality of studying abroad is a controversial issue among university students. Acknowledging numerous benefits, I support the idea of studying overseas.  Above all, one's language skills will improve. By mingling with foreign students, students will have opportunities to communicate with them. Through direct conversations with  native speakers, students will be able to gain first hand experiences and advance their skills. Additionally, students will be able to become more independent. Staying alone is tough. Students need to be self-sufficient and cope to a diverse environment. However, through the process, students are more enabled to confront life more independently. Lastly, staying in a foreign country will provide chances to socialize with foreign students and experience cultural exchange. As staying overseas lets students to be exposed to new culture, it will allow them to naturally accept it. Hence, studying abroad helps students enhance language ability, self-sufiiciency, and experience different cultures.

Seo Seung Yeon/page 20 draft/Wed3,4

The main causes of stress for college students can be divided into three categories. First, Future ambiguity makes college students anxious. Back in high school they had a relatively clear goal which is to go to the college. And they made it. They finally entered in the college which means they have to start to search for new goals. They are going through a transition period. Students are aware of that this period is important for it would ultimately determine future career. So they feel pressure to going through transition period perfectly. However it's nearly impossible to find out which is the correct answer. Because correct answers are differs by every students which generates ambiguity. Second, grade is one of the factors for college student's stress. They all are well known of importance of grades since it determines from dorm acceptance to career. All students want to have a great grade, but not all students can get an A. It's cold hard relative evaluation. Only upper 30% can get an A. So we should step on our class mates to get a good grade. Also to get a great grade they have to do a load of homework which requires time and ability. Lastly, managing social relationship can get college students in a stressful situation. Social life in college and high school are a lot different. In high school students become friends with just classmates. In the college, students are strongly recommended to be friends with not only peers but also senior and junior. Especially in Korea things can be trickier because of age. Your senior can be a lot younger than you which generates complex social problem. To wrap up, there are three categories that put college student under a lot of stress; future ambiguity, grades and social relationship.

Seo Seung Yeon/page 20 draft/Wed3,4


Yujin Kang/Page 20 Draft/Wed 3,4

 

First draft

These days, especially in Korea, lots of university students are suffering from stresses and voicing their complaints to the society. And as the severity of the problems caused by the stresses among students become more and more significant in this country, people are gradually paying attention to these young people's voice. Then, what makes them so stressful? There are largely three related reasons.

First, It is because many students are having trouble adjusting to their schools. Universities are where people from all over the country, even from the other country, gather. For some, meeting new people can be a great pleasure, but for others, It can be the hardest thing to do. To be a friend with someone you've just met, who is completely different with you is not easy at all. Drinking games are one that also bother students, since it usually require them to drink and sing in front of many people. Not only socializing with new people, but also adjusting to the study in university is another difficulty for students. It is because the classes they take, and assignments they must do get more harder than what they had in their high school.

Second, too much money is spent on the university. According to the survey conducted by the OECD, university tuition of Korea is the second highest among the countries in the OECD. Over ten million won of tuition fee isn't the end. Students need to earn their living to pay the rent. It is not surprising that almost every university students in Korea are managing both part-time job and study, which make them finally  give up and lose hope.

Third, fears about their uncertain future give students huge stresses. Recently, Korea is facing a serious unemployment crisis. According to survey of the National Statistical Office in 2016, youth unemployment has risen to nearly 20 percent, which is the worst ever. Even though they study hard and graduate the best universities in Korea, there are hardly any chance to get a decent job. As a result, many students take years off from school, delaying their graduation and study again, feeling a lot of pressure, just as others do.

Three main reasons that I suggested as the causes of stress among university students were having difficulty with adjusting to school, too much money being spent, and fears about future. A country where most of the young are unhappy and stressed out, cannot develop further. I want everyone in this society to think about this problem together, not to pass it to the next generation.  

Yang-Seunghyeok/page 20 draft/Wed3,4

 In March there helds meatings for introducing clubs and club fair in universities. There are a lot of reasons for students to join university clubs and organizations. First, students become club or organization members to develop thier capabilities of what they are already good at or interested in. For example, A student who are good at basketball joins a basketball sports club. A student who does not play the guitar well joins a club band in order to learn how to play it. Second, students join scholarly clubs or organizations in order to be advantageous when searching job. Students join economy clubs or clubs dealing with social issues to be knowlegeable for job interview in addition to that they are interested in that areas. Last of all, even though when they want to improve thier likings in clubs or want to join to prepare for thier future career, they can be unsure of being a member of clubs or organizations. Then Friends or chance to make friends can bring them to join clubs or organizations. Students enroll in clubs or organizations for such various reasons like drive to develop thier capabilities or to be ready for job application and reasons like anticipation to broaden or stengthen human relationships. 양승혁  

Jiwon Jung/p.20 draft/Wed 34

 These days, middle school students and their parents study hard and spend lots of money to get in to foreign language high schools. Some prepare for foreign language highschool from elementary school. Why do these people devote their school life for high school? What kind of benefits do they get?

 

  First, foreign language high schools have better systems than normal highschool. They have sent their students to good universities, which means they have lots of data and experience. They care their students each and make good curriculums for students. Also, club activities are vitalized. Students can experience lots of things. It enlarges their experience.

 

  Next, another reason for preferring foreign language high school is because an atmosphere conducive to academic pursuit is better. Students who are in there, their main goal is going to good universities. They have some sympathy which makes a synergy to achieve their goal. For example, there will be less students who makes noise, sleep and does not concentrate.

​ Finally, it's good for your human network. As I said in third paragraph, most of student's goals are similar. Which means they will encounter when they grow up. Their juniors, seniors and classmates can help each other. Korea is famous for school connections. I already experienced once. I had an advantage for joining a club.  

 

In conclusion, three reasons for going foreign language high school tells us that it's for their university and their future career. Better systems, good atmosphere and successful human network leads them and helps them to achieve their goals.

Minsung Kim/Page 20 draft/wed34

Min-sung Kim

University students can have three benefits by having a positive mind.

First, people speak as they think. By just thinking positively, they would feel great. But word has power; imprinting, towing, and achieving. If students say something out of their mouth, that would be imprinted in their brain. That would lead to output which is beneficial and they would fulfill what they wanted.

Also, they would love themselves and that can lead to growing self-respect. If they live positive-minded, everything they see would look bright. So whatever they do would be done effectively and more successfully. Therefore, they can be more confident to any situation.

Finally, they can easily get along with people. If they think positively, people would know that by their facial expressions and conversations they have with people. That would make people think they are kind and good person and more people would approach to them.

In short, if university students tend to be positive, students can easily can do anything they want, grow self-esteem, and socialize with other people.

2016/03/19

Minsung Kim/Second first draft/wed34

Min-sung Kim

University students can have three benefits by having a positive mind.

First, people speak as they think. By just thinking positively, they would feel great. But word has power; imprinting, towing, and achieving. If students say something out of their mouth, that would be imprinted in their brain. That would lead to output which is beneficial and they would fulfill what they wanted.

Also, they would love themselves and that can lead to growing self-respect. If they live positive-minded, everything they see would look bright. So whatever they do would be done effectively and more successfully. Therefore, they can be more confident to any situation.

Finally, they can easily get along with people. If they think positively, people would know that by their facial expressions and conversations they have with people. That would make people think they are kind and good person and more people would approach to them.

In short, if university students tend to be positive, students can easily can do anything they want, grow self-esteem, and socialize with other people.

2016/03/14

Minyoung Jang/first draft/wed 11:00-13:00

Topic sentence : There are a lot of reason why students work part time job.

 

Supporting points :

1. make various experience

2. earn a living expenses

3. develop independence

 

 

 

 

 Now a days, many university or even high school students work part time job. Usually, they work at restaurant, book store, cosmetic store and factory. Why students work part time job from early age?

 

 There are a lot of reason. First, They can make various experience while working with different people and environment. Maybe, part time job is first social experience for many students. They can get new, rewarding, valuable experience with part time job. Second, they can earn a living expenses. Students regardless of sex have a lot of thing to want. For example, girls wants clothes, cosmetic and acc, Also guys wants new game or other electronic equipment. So, they work, earn the money, and buy what they want. However, even students who can get money from their parents work part time job because they want to develop independence. They want to earn the money by oneself without parents' help.

 

 To sum up, students work part time job because of experience, the money and independence.

 

Yunsang Eom / First draft/wed 3,4

 Topic:Reasons for enjoying SNS

​Topic sentence: Many people enjoy SNS for other reason

​Supporting points

​1.communication

​2.utilizing content

​3.make money

In modern digital age, many people enjoy SNS, such as facebook, instagram and twiiter. Why do people enjoy SNS? There are variety of reasons. First, many people enjoy SNS for communicationing other people. This communicationing has various aspects. Most people communicate friends and others because of wondering each other's life. But some people communicate others for excessive self splurge and criticism of specific people. Second, many people enjoy SNS for utilizing variety content. For example, facebook have a variety video, such as exciting highlight of sport and drama. also facebook have a helpful informations , such as life tips and sport tips Finally, people enjoy SNS for earning money.

Have you heard word of SNS star?. Really they make money by using SNS.

Sometimes these things are often a nuisance to society because so-called sns star not hesitate to destructive behavior

As indicated above, There are many reason for enjoying sns

2016/03/13

Eunsol Lee/First draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

   Outline

 

Topic: Exclusive benefits of studying abroad

 

Topic sentence: Students going abroad to study can gain variety of benefits effectively and exclusively, which are not easy just being in Korea.

 

Supporting points:

1. Studying with its culture

2. Fixed and unavoidable conditions

3. Learning local nuance and fluency

 

 

First draft

 

 Students going abroad to study can gain variety of benefits effectively and exclusively, which are not easy just being in Korea.

 First, as many linguistic knowledge states, "Language" is a subject interconnected with culture. We can learn and acquire one language fully by understanding and experiencing its culture. And studying language with culture also means we can learn having fun, and this is absolutely important. So if we can take language and culture together by studying abroad, it would be an effective way to acquire a language.

 Another benefit is surroundings. Going abroad means everything around you changes. Things like people, conditions, necessities and so much more we would live with. And it means we cannot help being familiar with and practiced in that language. Moreover, an adolescent period is a time when they are very sensitive to friends and is when they could be flexible with any surroundings boundlessly. With fixed and unavoidable conditions, students would use and study necessary language actively and naturally at the same time.

 Lastly, thanks to being with native speakers, we can tell some slight differences between expressions, words and phrases. And this grows into knowing the nuance of that language. Of course, the fluency could be acquired easier than studying in Korea, because students use that language not just in class but whole time when they're awaken.

 To wrap up, there are 3 remarkable benefits studying abroad: studying with its culture, fixed and unavoidable conditions making us use one language, learning local nuance and fluency.

Causes of stress among university students / Hwa Hyun Kim / Wednesday / 11:00~13:00

 Every student has their own stresses for their various reason. 

Money can be the first reason. going to university is financially demanding for most students. university students have to pay tuition fee which reaches up hundred millions won. also students from distant regions need additional living expenses like rent.so those who can't get enough financial support from their parents have to do part-time job or get a student loan.

 The second reason is that students have to get good grades to get a job after graduation. studying can be a huge burden when connected with getting a job. and these days, most universities are adopting relative evaluation. therefore students must compete with their peers. competing with close friends can be stressful.

 Lastly, getting used to new circumstance is another reason of stresses of university students. when they first entered university, everything is new to them. Some people might like it but most students are nervous about adapting to new friends, new places, new atmosphere and so on.

 These three causes are the main causes of university students' stress. We have to overcome stress to lead a happy college life. Stress can hinder enjoyable college life and desirable learning. So it is necessary to overcome stress to lead a happy college life.

Choi Jaeyoon/First draft/Wednesday 34

OUTLINE:

 

Topic: Reasons for volunteering

 

Topic sentence: Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.

 

Supporting points:

1.     To get a chance to understand their own ego

2.     To make a better community to live in

3.     To meet new people

 

First draft:

 

Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.

 

First, they can get a chance to understand their own ego. When people see others' trouble, they feel responsibility for helping them through volunteering. Starting volunteering, they feel better about themselves and worthwhile to be needed by someone. Also, they can find their own interests or skills.

 

Another reason is to make a better community to live in. They want to make a difference in the community they live in. Furthermore, they believe that they can also make a better world mankind live in by volunteering.

 

Lastly, meeting new people is also a common reason for volunteering. They have one and the same goal "helping others" and it gives them a sense of belonging. In addition, they may get to know something new or information by getting along with each other. They learn importance of cooperation and teamwork as well.

 

To sum up, people do volunteer work to understand their own mind, make a better place, and to meet new people.

Hwang Sue Min/First Draft/Wed 3,4

Topic: Reasons for Korea's overall increasing suicidal rate


Topic sentence: Korea's suicidal rate has become one of the highest among the OECD countries.


Supporting points:

  1. The originally homogenous society has lost its sense of belonging  and the citizens are becoming individualistic.

  2. Rising unemployment rate

  3. Pressure on students within the competitive society

 

Being a homogenous country, Korea has long maintained its stance. Acting intimate towards other people and practicing the Korea' s culture of  'jung()' , Korean citizens had no time to feel lonely. However, after globalization, western ideaologies has begun to disseminate within the Korean society including individualism. Korean people began to become indifferent to each other, and the sudden change led to a lot of psychological problems such as depression. Additionally, the rising unemployment rate has filled the working population in despair. In fact, the unemployment rate of Korea is roughly 10% one of the lowest in the OECD countries. Despite the fact that all the job applicants are studying and working hard in order to get hired, not all of them succeed. Lastly, within the highly competitive society, students feel excess pressure from their surroundings. Acknowledging the low employment rate of Korea, students are always stressed out by their future. To be employed better, they tend to persue praticality. This decreases the overall satisfaction of Korean students. To sum up, the immense pressure on students and working population and the fact that people no longer are interested in their surroundings.

Yong-yoon Cho/First Draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

Outline

Topic; Reasons for going to university abroad

Topic Sentence:

Many Students go to university, but some of them choose to go abroad for several reasons.

Supporting Points:

1. To expand their horizons

2. To study in better conditions

3. To live on their own.

 

Many Students go to university, but some of them choose to go abroad for several reasons. First, students leave from their home country to see more of the world. Foreign universities enable students to communicate with foreigners. Interacting with new people who have diverse backgrounds helps students expand their horizons. Second, students go abroad to study in better conditions. Some universities have a strong international reputation. Such universities are likely to have better system and offer more opportunities than other countries. Students choose them expecting excellent faculty and plentiful materials. Third, some students choose to live overseas to live on their own. It helps students grow up more than ever. Depart from their family, students should live alone. Having a hard time, students would learn to be self sufficient. To summarize, students choose to go abroad for various reasons: to widen their horizons, to study in better conditions, or to live on their own. 

황수민/First Draft/Wed 3,4

Topic: Reasons for Korea's overall increasing suicidal rate


Topic sentence: Korea's suicidal rate has become one of the highest among the OECD countries.


Supporting points:

  1. The originally homogenous society has lost its sense of belonging  and the citizens are becoming individualistic.

  2. Rising unemployment rate

  3. Pressure on students within the competitive society

 

Being a homogenous country, Korea has long maintained its stance. Acting intimate towards other people and practicing the Korea' s culture of  'jung()' , Korean citizens had no time to feel lonely. However, after globalization, western ideaologies has begun to disseminate within the Korean society including individualism. Korean people began to become indifferent to each other, and the sudden change led to a lot of psychological problems such as depression. Additionally, the rising unemployment rate has filled the working population in despair. In fact, the unemployment rate of Korea is roughly 10% one of the lowest in the OECD countries. Despite the fact that all the job applicants are studying and working hard in order to get hired, not all of them succeed. Lastly, within the highly competitive society, students feel excess pressure from their surroundings. Acknowledging the low employment rate of Korea, students are always stressed out by their future. To be employed better, they tend to persue praticality. This decreases the overall satisfaction of Korean students. To sum up, the immense pressure on students and working population and the fact that people no longer are interested in their surroundings.

Dongwon Kang/First Draft/wednesday 11:00 ~12:50

Today, there are numerous advantages of using SNS in our daily life. First of all, SNS helps us meet new people and strengthens ties with people whom we already get used to. As there is no limitation of space and time in SNS, we can upload a video or image of our recent lives on the Facebook or Twitter whenever we want and we can also search for recent states of our friends wherever we go. This eventually makes us get to know more about people and emphasizes relationship with others. Secondly, we can easily gather or share information through various features of SNS. For example, if we press a 'like' button on the page and make a bookmark on it in the Facebook, we can get new information easily by just revisiting the page next time. Last but not least, SNS can be an effective measure for marketing and advertising. We can promote our items on SNS without costing anything by either posting a video or writing an article and advertise them to people around the world. the more people share the items with others, the greater the value of products will become. To sum up, SNS can be beneficial to us in that it gives us opportunity to meet various people, to gain new information and to promote our products to people all over the world.  

Chae Won Kim/first draft/Wed.34


Topic : why we have to learn how to write

 

Some of EICC students learn writing in P&P classes. Starting to learn writing in University, I wanted to think about some reasons for it. Firstly, I can learn to think critically. Writing lets me consider and concentrate on something. By so doing, I can find pros and cons of the subject and it helps me to get an objective standpoint. Understanding something with less distortion would be very helpful not only in analysis and research, but also in relations with others. Secondly, I can learn to think logically. Even in this paragraph, I'm using some expressions that indicate the order of supporting points. It means I sketched the order of this writing. And through several rounds of elaboration, I can make more natural sentences in context. Contemplation and reflection would develop one's own thinking power also. Lastly, I can learn to share my opinions. Surely, I can share my opinions in verbal, too. But verbal discussion is less refined and spontaneous. On the contrary, written words are more deliberate and fixable. The critical, logical words can explain or convince effectively, and even after the very moment of sharing, I can review my own and other's writing. And at this point, knowing 'how to write' could be basis in doing this. In Korea, most of schools don't teach writing mainly, so many students regard writing as difficult and heavy one. But in my opinion, it is valuable to break this prejudice because 'writing-the overall experiences for writing' could be very beneficial in our life.

 

Yeoroom Lee/First draft/Wednesday 3 4

Outline

 

Topic : factors in choosing a university

 

Topic sentence : Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not

go to the same university because of factors we should consider about.

 

Supporting points :

 

1. enough score

2. University location

3. Purpose

 

 

 Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not go to the same

university because of factors we should consider about.

 

 First, we must get enough entrance exam scores to pass grade line that each

university set for admission. If i'm unable to get sufficient scores, even though

that university means a lot to me, i cannot get admission. This is the most basic

and simple factor dividing whether we are allowed to be that univ student or not.

 

 Second, university location. Of course we've developed transportation every passing

days and it's not impossible anymore to get one transported to anywhere in just one

day, it's still important and serious factor in choosing a university. Transportation fees,

wasting times, or even uncomfortable food selling in there.. These factors is related

with location.

 

 Last, the purpose. We go to university for a variety of reasons based on our purposes.

For getting a job easier, for deep and further study, for meeting a new friend at different

place.. all of this make a decision for going 'that' university.

 

 In conclusion, there are three factors in choosing a university. Score, location, and

purpose.  

Yujin Kang/First draft/Wednesday 34

Outline

Topic : Causes of stress among university students

Topic sentence : University students get a lot of stress mainly because of three reasons.

Supporting points
1. Have trouble with adjusting to school
2. Too much money is spent.
3. Fear about their future


First draft

These days, especially in Korea, lots of university students are suffering from stresses and voicing their complaints to the society. And as the severity of the problems caused by the stresses among students become more and more significant in this country, people are gradually paying attention to these young people's voice. Then, what makes them so stressful? There are largely three related reasons.

First, It is because many students are having trouble adjusting to their schools. Universities are where people from all over the country, even from the other country, gather. For some, meeting new people can be a great pleasure, but for others, It can be the hardest thing to do. To be a real friend with someone you've just met, who is completely different with you is not an easy process at all. Drinking games are one that also bother students, since it usually require them to drink and sing in front of many people. Not only socializing with new people, but also adjusting to the study in university is another difficulty for students. It is because the classes they take, and assignments they must do get more harder than those of their high school.

Second, too much money is spent on the university. According to the survey conducted by the OECD, university tuition of Korea is the second highest among the countries in the OECD. Over ten million won of tuition fee isn't the end. Students need to earn their living to pay the rent. It is not surprising that almost every university students in Korea are managing both part-time job and study, which make them finally  give up and lose hope.

Third, fears about their uncertain future give students huge stresses. Recently, Korea is facing a serious unemployment crisis. Even though they study hard and graduate the best universities in Korea, there are hardly any chance to get a decent job. As a result, many students take years off from school, delaying their graduation and study again, feeling a lot of pressure, just as others do.

Three main reasons that I suggested as the causes of stress among university students were having difficulty with adjusting to school, too much money being spent, and fears about future. A country where most of the young are unhappy and stressed out, cannot develop further. I want everyone in this society to think about this problem together, not to pass it to the next generation.

Seo seung yeon/ First draft/ wed 3,4

Topic Causes of stress among university students

Topic sentence - Main causes that drive stress to college students can be specified in to 3way.

Supporting points

1. Future ambiguity

2. Grade

3. Social relationship

 

Main causes that drive stress to college students can be specified in to 3way.

First, Future ambiguity makes college students anxious. Back in high school they had a relatively clear goal which is to go to the college. And they made it. They finally entered in the college which means they have to start to search for new goals. They are aware of that they are going through a transition period. Students are aware of that this period is important for it would ultimately determine future career. So they feel pressure to going through transition period well. However it's nearly impossible to find out which is the correct answer. Because correct answers are differs by every students which generates ambiguity.

Second, grade is one of the driving factors for college student's stress. They all are well known of importance of grades since it determines from dorm acceptance to future career. All students want to have a great grade, but not all students can get an A. It's cold hard relative evaluation. Only upper 30% can get an A. So we should step on our class mates to get a good grade. Also to get a great grade they have to do a load of homework. After one week they get a fresh new homework to do which requires time and ability.

Third, managing social relationship can get college students in a stressful situation. Social life in college and high school are a lot different. In high school students become friends with just classmates. In the college students are strongly recommended to be friends with not only peers but also senior and junior. Especially in Korea things can be trickier because of age. Your senior can be a lot younger than you which generates complex social problem.

To wrap up, college students get various kind of stress which could be narrowed down in to 3ways which is future ambiguity, grades and social relationship

Seung Ji Lee/First draft/Wednesday 11:00~12:50

Outline

 

Topic: Causes of stress among university students

 

Topic sentence: A number of university students are being stressed and the reasons for it vary.

 

Supporting points:

1. Students cannot help caring about their grades all the time.

2. They get in financial difficulties.

3. Uncertainty of future makes them feel stressed.

 

 

 

    A number of university students are being stressed and the reasons for it vary.

    First of all, university students cannot help caring about their grades all the time. They are obsessed with the idea that they should always focus on them due to a lot of assignments, group work and regular tests. Since students are aware that good grades lead to a better job, they suffer from stress for their grades.

    Second, university students get in financial difficulties. Generally, university tuition is so high that it is a big burden for the students. Also, they are in a situation where they should feed and house all by themselves but have no job. So some students work part-time for their spending, but it gives them stress because it is not easy to hold down a part-time job and focus on studying at the same time.

    Finally, uncertainty of future makes university students feel stressed. Becoming a university student means they are free to make decisions but have responsibility on that. In other words, they have to make all the plans ranging from what student organization they would join to what would they do for a job after graduation. The students have no idea whether they would succeed as they planned, so they feel worried about their future.

    In conclusion, there are various reasons why university students are stressed: they should care about their grades all the time, get in financial difficulties, and worry about uncertain future.