The Importance of Traveling
OUTLINE
Topic: Reasons for traveling.
Topic sentence: Traveling can benefit you in various ways.
Supporting points:
1. Broadens your perspective in life.
2. Become friends with various types of people.
3. Therapeutic.
Traveling can benefit you in various ways. First, it allows you to broaden your perspective in life. You get to meet people all over the world and experience their individual cultures in person. Understanding each and every culture can help break stereotypes you may have had before visiting the country. This eventually leads to opening up your perspective in general, helping you to become a more generous person. Also, becoming friends with various types of people while traveling is matter-of-fact. Whether it be exotic restaurants or even places you stay in, you have tons of ways to meet new people and communicate with them. Even after you return home you can still stay in contact with your worldwide friends by becoming pen pals. Lastly, traveling can be therapeutic. A lot of people tend to visit other places just to relieve stress and simply relax. This makes you happier in life and very often enhances your self-confidence. To wrap up, traveling is an important part of our lives that is necessary for everyone.
Yujin Kang
ReplyDelete1.What was the main point? Traveling can benefit you for three reasons.
2.What I liked about this paragraph was 3 supporing ideas you suggested. all the points are clear and persuasive.
3.What struck me as powerful was overall skills of writing. Vocabulary and expreesions in your writing are so natural that it reads very well.
4.There was nothing that isn't clear.
5.The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this paragraph is to split a paragraph. Then It'll be easier to read.
Sue Min Hwang
ReplyDelete1.The main point is the benefits of traveling.
2.I agree that traveling naturally widens one's viewpoints. The new experience in a foreign country or other parts of a country will provide one with different perspective.
3.The reasoning of the paragraph was applicable and concrete.
4.x
5. Sometimes words are repetitive. More diverse language use could improve your writing. Otherwise it is really good