Many Students go to university, but some of them choose to go abroad for several reasons. First, students leave from their home country to see more of the world. Foreign universities enable students to communicate with foreigners. Spending time with new people who have diverse backgrounds helps students expand their horizons. Also, students decide to go abroad to study in better conditions. There are Some universities with a strong international reputation for excellent faculty, plentiful materials, or financial support. This kind of system would keep students concentrate on study and contribute to gaining social recognition. Finally, some students are eager to live on their own. Depart from their family, with no acquaintance, students would be able to devote their time to study. In addition, living alone away from their family must be difficult, but they can learn to be self sufficient. To summarize, students choose to go abroad to widen their horizons, study in better conditions, or to live on their own.
Great supporting points. I love your sentences. One suggestion i can give is to add one more reason to your final supporting point. Students want to be departed from their family for not only want to devote their time to study but also to have fun without interference
ReplyDeleteGreat supporting points. I love your sentences. One suggestion i can give is to add one more reason to your final supporting point. Students want to be departed from their family for not only want to devote their time to study but also to have fun without interference
ReplyDeleteYeoroom Lee
ReplyDeleteI suggest you to add the word 'knowledge' between 'their' and 'horizons' in first supporting point to make your ideas to be understood easily.
And what about replacing the word 'would' in second paragraph(this kind of system 'would' keep students~) as 'could' to show cause and effect more clearly? That would be easy to understand to readers.
Hello yongyoon! your supporting points are persuasive. But I suggest that replace "expand their horizon" into "widen" or "broaden". and I'm not sure why you add "In addition ~" sentence in Third reason. Because that sentence means already you said. In other words, there are overlapped part. If you remove that sentence and fill another explanation, this paragraph will be more great!
ReplyDeleteTitle : Benefits of studying abroad
ReplyDelete