OUTLINE:
Topic: Reasons for volunteering
Topic sentence: Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.
Supporting points:
1. To get a chance to understand their own ego
2. To make a better community to live in
3. To meet new people
First draft:
Many people do volunteer work for various reasons, not only for helping others.
First, they can get a chance to understand their own ego. When people see others' trouble, they feel responsibility for helping them through volunteering. Starting volunteering, they feel better about themselves and worthwhile to be needed by someone. Also, they can find their own interests or skills.
Another reason is to make a better community to live in. They want to make a difference in the community they live in. Furthermore, they believe that they can also make a better world mankind live in by volunteering.
Lastly, meeting new people is also a common reason for volunteering. They have one and the same goal "helping others" and it gives them a sense of belonging. In addition, they may get to know something new or information by getting along with each other. They learn importance of cooperation and teamwork as well.
To sum up, people do volunteer work to understand their own mind, make a better place, and to meet new people.
1. I can see your main point is "3 reasons why people do volunteer work".
ReplyDelete2. I liked your first supporting points because actually I used to notice my personality or understand my inner side by having volunteer work.
3. One thing struck me was that details of second supporting points were quite short. If I wrote a paragraph with the same topic, I would make that part longer than yours, because I think that is the most big reason.
4. I think you didn't state the first supporting point clear. I couldn't find about seeking own ego, this is just my opinion but, it was just about feelings.
5. As I mentioned before, adding details about seeking of ego to the first supporting part would raise your paragraphs' completion.
Yeji Oh : Showing what you want to say is very clear and You separate the paragraph well. but I think it would be better if you write the second paragraph a bit longer because all the paragraphs are important, and unlike others it is a bit short. Any way, it was quite clear and well organized, so if you find some more information about your supporting points and detailed it, I am sure that it would be much better.
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