2016/03/20

Yeoroom Lee/page 20 draft/Wed 34

 Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not go to same

university because of factors we should consider about.

 

 First, we have to think about the score. Students who are planning to go to

university must be an adequate applicant that university looks for. 'Adequate'

means appropriate and proper academic achievement that could fit in the pass

line set by particular university. It can be concluded to score, and this is the most

clear and definite factor dividing whether this student have a right qualification for

pass.

 

 Also, university location is also important factor. The word 'location' stands for

geographical properties like environment, and transportation convinience.

Although we've developed transportation technology so far, it'd still be a hard

decision to go to university that locates almost the opposite site of earth from

home. Plus, different cultures such as food style, unfamiliar custom must

be crucial aspects just like site accesibility.

 

 

 Finally, the purpose. While 'score' is the clearest factor in choosing university,

the purpose is the most important factor when we make a apply decision. 

For example, even if  'A' university is not far away from B's home and every

aspects are positive to B, such as great score, familiar environment, but it'd

be an empty talk if B does not want to apply for that university. because we go

to university for a variety of reasons, going to university without purpose,

everything involved that would be meaningless.

 

 To sum up, there're three factors in choosing a university. pass qualification,

university location, and reasons. 

4 comments:

  1. Remove "every all of us", add "each of us all".
    Add "having" behind second paragraphs' "means", and in same paragraph remove "to" then add "as", plus remove "dividing" and add "telling". Lastly, the sentence starting with "Plus, different cultures..." would be better if it's erased.

    I think this was great !!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seung Ji Lee:
    I think the third paragraph should be changed a little bit. You explained the case that is similar to students studying abroad, but I suggest that this paragraph be focused on the factors that students consider when they apply for universities 'in their countries'. So what about removing the final sentence of the third paragraph? I also think it would be much better if you replace 'that locates almost the opposite site of earth from home' with some other contents.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Choi jaeyoon:
    I think your writing. it is well organized and the supporting points are also clear. I like the way you explain third point with proper example. But I don't know what you mean in the first paragraph. I think it will be better if it were shorter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeoroom Lee
    Title : You want to go that university? What makes your decision?

    ReplyDelete