Minsung Kim
Outline
Topic : Having a positive mind
Topic sentence : Having a positive mind gives you three benefits throughout your life.
Supporting points :
1. Making friends easier
2. Love yourself, grow self-respect
3. Can always be happy
Having a positive mind gives you three benefits throughout your life. First, you can easily get along with people. If you have positive mind, people would know that by your facial expressions and conversations you have with them. That would make people think you are a kind and good person and more people would approach to you. Second, you would love yourself and that can lead to growing self-respect. If you live positive-minded, everything you see would look bright. So your works would be done effectively and more successfully. Therefore, you can be more confident to any situation. Finally, you can always be happy. If you think positively, by just thinking, you would feel great. Also it could reduce your stress which will make you happier. There's old saying 'He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.' It means if you think positively, all the situations would go the same way. In short, if you tend to be positive, you can easily socialize with other people, can grow self-esteem, and can live optimistic life.
Dongwon Kang : the main point of this paragraph was that having a positive mind gives us 3 benefits throughout our life.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked about this paragraph was that the writer cited an old saying to convey us the messages of the paragraph more effectively
the fact that living a positive-minded life could reduce our stress struck me as powerful. I thought that I should live with positive mind to reduce my stress from now on.
I was not so clear about the sentence 'having a positive mind can make us always happy'. I thought that even if we were positive-minded, we could still be sad or angry.
the one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this paragraph is to add some examples that show how could living positive-minded make people happy.
Yeoroom Lee
ReplyDelete1. The main point of this paragraph is 3 benefits coming from having positive mind.
2. What i liked about this paragraph is form of 'cause and effect'. It starts with 'if' sentence, and it gives reader clear what they'd gain benefits from having positive mind.
3. the most striking to me in this paragraph is positive circling started with SMALL positive mind. It's very interesing that someone gets bigger and bigger happy from just one smile on face.
4. I think that being confident in front of anyone from having positive mind is a bit unclear because i try and try everyday to get better confidence to anyone i might face, but it's still hard to me to show kindness and confidence to others.
5. The one change i could make this paragraph better reading is dividing sentences. Beginning comes first, and below the subject of your point, and go on... It's sure that this would make this reading more easier to read.