Outline
Topic : factors in choosing a university
Topic sentence : Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not
go to the same university because of factors we should consider about.
Supporting points :
1. enough score
2. University location
3. Purpose
Although there're lots of universities around us, every all of us do not go to the same
university because of factors we should consider about.
First, we must get enough entrance exam scores to pass grade line that each
university set for admission. If i'm unable to get sufficient scores, even though
that university means a lot to me, i cannot get admission. This is the most basic
and simple factor dividing whether we are allowed to be that univ student or not.
Second, university location. Of course we've developed transportation every passing
days and it's not impossible anymore to get one transported to anywhere in just one
day, it's still important and serious factor in choosing a university. Transportation fees,
wasting times, or even uncomfortable food selling in there.. These factors is related
with location.
Last, the purpose. We go to university for a variety of reasons based on our purposes.
For getting a job easier, for deep and further study, for meeting a new friend at different
place.. all of this make a decision for going 'that' university.
In conclusion, there are three factors in choosing a university. Score, location, and
purpose.
Minsung Kim
ReplyDeleteWhat was the main point? Factors of choosing university.
What I liked about this paragraph was that you divided paragraphs and it was easy to read.
What struck me as powerful was the third point, the purpose.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this paragraph is your conclusion sentence by using other words other than the words you used before.
Seung Ji Lee:
ReplyDeleteThe main point was that there are three factors in choosing a university. What I liked about this paragraph was that you clearly mentioned the three factors. Also, what struck me as powerful was the second line of the second paragraph because it is sad but true reality of Korea. I think the one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this paragraph is that it would be better to write a full sentence, not just listing few key words.